Hey Amber! Interesting idea for your storybook that you're doing a counseling theme and it really let the readers have a deeper understanding with the characters. Although I have to say you might want to change the font in your storybook.. it so hard to read with the slant italic font..but other than that I think the whole counseling idea is a great way to tell each of the different character stories. It also allows us to really relate to the characters since the stories would be told fro their point of views. Overall, I like the layout of your page. It is simple but simple is always the best just not the font so much. I had to read a bit slower to really see the words clearly. Maybe more of a standard regular font will be better? Other than that I'm digging the topic of your storybook. It is different and will be interesting to read later on!
Hey Amber! I love your idea about counseling with the Ramayana! I especially like the picture you posted on the main page with the chairs in a circle. It reminds of group sessions like "alcohol anonymous" or such where people are sitting in the chairs and say "My name is ______ and I'm an alcoholic," and everyone else replies "Hi, _____."
Agreeing with what Christine mentioned above, I do like the simplicity of your layout. The colors and background are also very calm and soothing colors, something that goes well with the counseling theme so good job on that. However, though I do like the font and I'm always one for fancy cursive writing, in this case I feel it is a bit much and takes away from that sooting effect. If you want to stick to a cursive font, I would suggest something like "monotype corsiva" or something similar where its a little bit easier on the eyes.
I think it was smart of you to introduce the "counsel-ees" so now we have a sense of we are to expect without knowing everything. Good job so far!
Amber, Thoughts about your storybook after looking at the first page – what an apt picture to depict your title! The title seems so interesting! I want to jump right into the stories. I wonder who is going to be counseled and why! The title and the front page are very captivating and excited me to read your stories. However, the font style is a little bit confusing to read with italics. I couldn’t tell what the last word read. I read the introduction of your story; your ideas are so creative and original. Three sisters are brought into a counseling session by their mother because of their actions and behaviors that the mother thinks are inappropriate. I liked the idea of making Epics of India students the guests. Besides the ideas, the overall flow of the story and explanation of the idea were great. I can’t wait to read the stories from the mother, the squirrel’s perspective. Overall, the introduction was a fun read. I did not notice any grammatical errors. Just one thing I would suggest, change the font. Although I really like it, some words are hard to read. Great job, Amber
Amber, I really like your 'session' concept of your storybook! I am also depicting a therapist portrayal in my storybook so I was really excited to read yours when I read the title. First off, your font is a bit difficult to read on your introduction. I would suggest just to choose a font that illustrates more clarity so that, as a reader, I am able to focus on your stories and nothing else! Your introduction is so creative and interesting. Your writing is very modern mixed with the epics, which is really great! I like the squirrel point of view that you depicted. That was really interesting! In your second story, I like how you changed gears on having Thataka from a different perspective. Overall, good work!
Hi Amber! Cool concept for your storybook. I like the idea of it being like a counseling session. Your layout is very simple, and the colors go well together. The only thing that I have to say is that the font was making it hard for me to read your story. It is beautiful, but for some reason it was making my eyes shift too much. I would suggest using something a little easier for the eyes to read. I really do like the idea of counseling sessions for the characters. It helps with understanding them and what all is going on with them. I can’t wait to see who all is going to be counseled and what is going on with them. It is cool that we, the Epics class, are the guests. Overall, great job with your storybook so far. I can’t wait to read more of your posts later on.
At a first glance of your introduction, the font attracted me in! As soon as I started reading, I thought how perfect!
I like your idea of having an unbiased storyteller and it was unique to make her an alien/shape shifter. I found some of the introduction a bit jumpy which confused me a little. I caught on that you would tell stories from the Ramayana to teach the girls lessons. The summaries for two of the stories you may use were merged into the last couple paragraphs. Also, it was only towards the end that I figured out the audience (us readers) were the guests.
You did a great job of keeping your squirrel theme within your first story. It helped remind me which perspective I was hearing the story from. Also, I enjoyed seeing the overall lesson you helped to derive from the first story. Rama always seems to be portrayed as doing only good, but like you, I questioned how some of his actions were considered fair and moral.
After reading this story, I also understood better that your plan is to have each story directed toward an individual girl…which makes me understand the introduction a bit more.
Hey Amber! I love the theme for your storybook. I love that it is like a group therapy/counseling session. I think these types of stories are very interesting and can make such great stories! I also like the picture you chose for your cover page. It goes along very well with your theme. I started to read your introduction, and one critique I have is the font. It is very big and causes the reader to do a lot of scrolling. You might consider making it a little smaller. The cursive font is also very distracting. I think that you do a really great job at introducing all of the characters in the introduction. It gives you a really good idea of what to expect in the stories coming up. I love that for your first story you changed the point of view that it is told from. That has become my favorite way to retell a story! I think it is a great way to show other character's feelings and views of a situation. Good luck with the rest of your storybook!
Amber, I really enjoyed reading your storybook because I think you have chose a very, interesting yet simple way to tell the story. The picture on the cover page does provide the setting that we are in a counseling session such as AA or any other support group. Your layout is very interesting and does grab the eye. However, I do believe that the font is very distracting to the reader. I felt a if I was more worried about reading the words correctly than I was about digesting the content of the story. I believe if you change the font to a more readable font you will not lose ann effect of your great layout and will increase the reader's ability to comprehend the story. With that slight correction, this storybook is outstanding. Great work!
It’s so exciting that you are doing a group therapy session! I am also doing one. It’s funny because we have a similar set up for our story, but they turned out completely different. I like the look of your website a lot and it makes me feel really calm and relaxed. I also like the type of font that you picked it seems fun and relaxing like I would expect a therapy session to be. One thing I would suggest is to make your font a little smaller, it seemed a little too large.
I read your introduction and absolutely loved that you gave each of the characters their own personality. I know how hard that can be, but you did a great job. I also like how you connected all of the girls to one another. You chose a good counselor in Arianna and I am glad that you are going to retell some of the stories from a different point of view. I can’t wait to read more of your stories. Keep working hard!
Amber, today I am going to be commenting on your Introduction page and your website. On your website, it looks okay, but the font that is used in the navigation bar and the on the title of each page is a bit difficult to read. Also the title of each page is difficult to read with that black font and the picture behind it. I would try making the font white. I think that would help. I would also suggest making the font underneath the picture on the homepage bigger because it is very difficult to read.
I love the way that you have set this up by having multiple people talk and introduce themselves. I think it sets up you storybook very nicely. After reading each introduction I am very excited to read each individual session. Overall, your story was well written and I could find no grammatical errors.
Hi Amber ! I will be commenting on your design/layout! I like the background because it reminds me of an orange! Your blog is pretty simple which makes it easier for people to navigate! Your blog is pretty similar to other students because of way things are placed, but if you wanted to spice it up a little bit, you can change the font :)
Hi amber. I really liked the idea of the group therapy writing. I think your page design and font complimented your topic quite well. However I did have trouble figuring out what one particular word was supposed to be. It was just a name so not too important. You introduced the girls very well and I am curious to see how you include them or give reference to them in the future. I love how you are trying to teach the girls certain morals through each of these stories. That sounds like a great way complete your storybook. What a wonderful idea to take the perspective of a squirrel. I thought it was very funny to think of a traveling squirrel learning following all of these great adventurers. I think you did a wonderful job on this story and your introduction. It showed that you really took your time creating this. I can't wait to see what your next squirrel adventure will be!
I HAVE RETURNED! Haha anyway, I came back to your storybook to do some extra commenting this week and read your second story "Kiera: Rama & Sita's Story." First, I like that the narrator is a squirrel, that's a neat new take on storytelling. I appreciated that you explained what a swayamwara is, because otherwise you'd have lost me there. I also liked that you explained the narrator's feelings toward Rama. I thought that added depth to your story and squirrel character. I thought your choice of adding more detail did a great service to the story of Rama and Sita falling in love. I think the original tale didn't really emphasize their love and romance, but I guess that wasn't really the point. Still, I liked that you added more to their story. I am a big fan of Sita and her devotion and strength so I love that you featured her.
Hi, Amber! This comment is to reconnect with you on a comment that you wrote on my Storytelling post in Week 2. I just wanted to say thank you for the feedback you had given me, it was exactly what I was looking for! Even though that story I wrote was over one of those Mother Goose Rhymes, I still feel like it’s the best story I’ve written yet. Anyway, I hope the semester has been treating you well!
Hello Amber! I am commenting on your storybook again for the extra credit assignment. This week, I read "Kiera: Rama and Sita's Story." You made the squirrel narrate the story which was fun. I noticed a couple possible errors. I'm not sure if these truly are errors, I could be wrong but I think in the first paragraph, the sentence "who I was very fond of and who I chose to follow.." needs to be corrected to "Whom I was very fond of and whom I chose to follow.." Other than that, the overall flow of the story was good but I am not too fond of the fonts you have selected. I felt as if my reading was being interrupted by the fonts because I had to stop to figure out what some of the words were. Other than that, great job!
First, I still love your squirrely theme. I think you keep Arianna’s personality pretty consistent throughout both of your stories! She seems to get a bit distracted, but will get back on track (I hope that is what you are going for).
I really liked Kiera’s story. The way Arianna illustrates Rama and Sita’s beginning is incredibly simple. There isn’t a too much detail that creates imagery, but somehow you really created a picture in my mind as I was reading.
One suggestion I have is to include a very short reminder of the girl’s background story. One sentence would probably do the job. I liked that you reminded us of the theme for each story (“Next we’ll move on to Kiera’s lesson – waiting for true love- as….”), but maybe reminding us why Kiera is being impatient. I think it would help tie back to your introduction and make more connection throughout your storybook.
Hey Amber, I think that the theme of your storybook is really interesting. I think that counseling is a really interesting idea and I think that a lot great ideas could come from this storybook. If someone is getting counseled they are really expressing their feelings and the counselor is really getting to dive deep into their lives and their entire world. One thing I have to add though that the font in your storybook is a little hard to read. However, I do the cursive in the actual storybook. I also liked how you introduced everyone in the beginning because I think that gives everyone a sense of belonging to something. When the girls are introducing themselves I think it sets up for them to be more comfortable when they are expressing themselves during the counseling sessions. Overall, I am really excited to read more of your stories and really figure out the sessions are all about.
I really like the theme for your storybook! I found it to be really interesting because I haven't seen very many people do a counseling type storybook! I really like the idea for your storybook because this storybook is a great way to relate people's feelings to the themes from the stories we have read. I really like that you kept the same person from your first storybook!
I thought you did a great job with the first story! It was great because you told it from a different perspective then what we read in the Ramayana. I thought you made a great point that history is told through the victors eyes. There are always two sides to every story, and you did a great job making that point in your first story! Also I liked that you made the point that it is always best to follow your own instincts and not be a follower! Great job! I am looking forward to reading more of your stories!
Hey Amber! Interesting idea for your storybook that you're doing a counseling theme and it really let the readers have a deeper understanding with the characters. Although I have to say you might want to change the font in your storybook.. it so hard to read with the slant italic font..but other than that I think the whole counseling idea is a great way to tell each of the different character stories. It also allows us to really relate to the characters since the stories would be told fro their point of views. Overall, I like the layout of your page. It is simple but simple is always the best just not the font so much. I had to read a bit slower to really see the words clearly. Maybe more of a standard regular font will be better? Other than that I'm digging the topic of your storybook. It is different and will be interesting to read later on!
ReplyDeleteHey Amber! I love your idea about counseling with the Ramayana! I especially like the picture you posted on the main page with the chairs in a circle. It reminds of group sessions like "alcohol anonymous" or such where people are sitting in the chairs and say "My name is ______ and I'm an alcoholic," and everyone else replies "Hi, _____."
ReplyDeleteAgreeing with what Christine mentioned above, I do like the simplicity of your layout. The colors and background are also very calm and soothing colors, something that goes well with the counseling theme so good job on that. However, though I do like the font and I'm always one for fancy cursive writing, in this case I feel it is a bit much and takes away from that sooting effect. If you want to stick to a cursive font, I would suggest something like "monotype corsiva" or something similar where its a little bit easier on the eyes.
I think it was smart of you to introduce the "counsel-ees" so now we have a sense of we are to expect without knowing everything. Good job so far!
Amber,
ReplyDeleteThoughts about your storybook after looking at the first page – what an apt picture to depict your title! The title seems so interesting! I want to jump right into the stories. I wonder who is going to be counseled and why! The title and the front page are very captivating and excited me to read your stories. However, the font style is a little bit confusing to read with italics. I couldn’t tell what the last word read.
I read the introduction of your story; your ideas are so creative and original. Three sisters are brought into a counseling session by their mother because of their actions and behaviors that the mother thinks are inappropriate. I liked the idea of making Epics of India students the guests. Besides the ideas, the overall flow of the story and explanation of the idea were great. I can’t wait to read the stories from the mother, the squirrel’s perspective.
Overall, the introduction was a fun read. I did not notice any grammatical errors. Just one thing I would suggest, change the font. Although I really like it, some words are hard to read.
Great job, Amber
Amber, I really like your 'session' concept of your storybook! I am also depicting a therapist portrayal in my storybook so I was really excited to read yours when I read the title. First off, your font is a bit difficult to read on your introduction. I would suggest just to choose a font that illustrates more clarity so that, as a reader, I am able to focus on your stories and nothing else! Your introduction is so creative and interesting. Your writing is very modern mixed with the epics, which is really great! I like the squirrel point of view that you depicted. That was really interesting! In your second story, I like how you changed gears on having Thataka from a different perspective. Overall, good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Amber! Cool concept for your storybook. I like the idea of it being like a counseling session. Your layout is very simple, and the colors go well together. The only thing that I have to say is that the font was making it hard for me to read your story. It is beautiful, but for some reason it was making my eyes shift too much. I would suggest using something a little easier for the eyes to read. I really do like the idea of counseling sessions for the characters. It helps with understanding them and what all is going on with them. I can’t wait to see who all is going to be counseled and what is going on with them. It is cool that we, the Epics class, are the guests. Overall, great job with your storybook so far. I can’t wait to read more of your posts later on.
ReplyDeleteAmber,
ReplyDeleteAt a first glance of your introduction, the font attracted me in! As soon as I started reading, I thought how perfect!
I like your idea of having an unbiased storyteller and it was unique to make her an alien/shape shifter. I found some of the introduction a bit jumpy which confused me a little. I caught on that you would tell stories from the Ramayana to teach the girls lessons. The summaries for two of the stories you may use were merged into the last couple paragraphs. Also, it was only towards the end that I figured out the audience (us readers) were the guests.
You did a great job of keeping your squirrel theme within your first story. It helped remind me which perspective I was hearing the story from. Also, I enjoyed seeing the overall lesson you helped to derive from the first story. Rama always seems to be portrayed as doing only good, but like you, I questioned how some of his actions were considered fair and moral.
After reading this story, I also understood better that your plan is to have each story directed toward an individual girl…which makes me understand the introduction a bit more.
Hey Amber!
ReplyDeleteI love the theme for your storybook. I love that it is like a group therapy/counseling session. I think these types of stories are very interesting and can make such great stories! I also like the picture you chose for your cover page. It goes along very well with your theme. I started to read your introduction, and one critique I have is the font. It is very big and causes the reader to do a lot of scrolling. You might consider making it a little smaller. The cursive font is also very distracting. I think that you do a really great job at introducing all of the characters in the introduction. It gives you a really good idea of what to expect in the stories coming up. I love that for your first story you changed the point of view that it is told from. That has become my favorite way to retell a story! I think it is a great way to show other character's feelings and views of a situation. Good luck with the rest of your storybook!
Amber, I really enjoyed reading your storybook because I think you have chose a very, interesting yet simple way to tell the story. The picture on the cover page does provide the setting that we are in a counseling session such as AA or any other support group. Your layout is very interesting and does grab the eye. However, I do believe that the font is very distracting to the reader. I felt a if I was more worried about reading the words correctly than I was about digesting the content of the story. I believe if you change the font to a more readable font you will not lose ann effect of your great layout and will increase the reader's ability to comprehend the story. With that slight correction, this storybook is outstanding. Great work!
ReplyDeleteIt’s so exciting that you are doing a group therapy session! I am also doing one. It’s funny because we have a similar set up for our story, but they turned out completely different. I like the look of your website a lot and it makes me feel really calm and relaxed. I also like the type of font that you picked it seems fun and relaxing like I would expect a therapy session to be. One thing I would suggest is to make your font a little smaller, it seemed a little too large.
ReplyDeleteI read your introduction and absolutely loved that you gave each of the characters their own personality. I know how hard that can be, but you did a great job. I also like how you connected all of the girls to one another. You chose a good counselor in Arianna and I am glad that you are going to retell some of the stories from a different point of view. I can’t wait to read more of your stories. Keep working hard!
Amber, today I am going to be commenting on your Introduction page and your website. On your website, it looks okay, but the font that is used in the navigation bar and the on the title of each page is a bit difficult to read. Also the title of each page is difficult to read with that black font and the picture behind it. I would try making the font white. I think that would help. I would also suggest making the font underneath the picture on the homepage bigger because it is very difficult to read.
ReplyDeleteI love the way that you have set this up by having multiple people talk and introduce themselves. I think it sets up you storybook very nicely. After reading each introduction I am very excited to read each individual session. Overall, your story was well written and I could find no grammatical errors.
Hi Amber ! I will be commenting on your design/layout! I like the background because it reminds me of an orange! Your blog is pretty simple which makes it easier for people to navigate! Your blog is pretty similar to other students because of way things are placed, but if you wanted to spice it up a little bit, you can change the font :)
ReplyDeleteHi amber. I really liked the idea of the group therapy writing. I think your page design and font complimented your topic quite well. However I did have trouble figuring out what one particular word was supposed to be. It was just a name so not too important. You introduced the girls very well and I am curious to see how you include them or give reference to them in the future. I love how you are trying to teach the girls certain morals through each of these stories. That sounds like a great way complete your storybook. What a wonderful idea to take the perspective of a squirrel. I thought it was very funny to think of a traveling squirrel learning following all of these great adventurers. I think you did a wonderful job on this story and your introduction. It showed that you really took your time creating this. I can't wait to see what your next squirrel adventure will be!
ReplyDeleteI HAVE RETURNED! Haha anyway, I came back to your storybook to do some extra commenting this week and read your second story "Kiera: Rama & Sita's Story." First, I like that the narrator is a squirrel, that's a neat new take on storytelling. I appreciated that you explained what a swayamwara is, because otherwise you'd have lost me there. I also liked that you explained the narrator's feelings toward Rama. I thought that added depth to your story and squirrel character. I thought your choice of adding more detail did a great service to the story of Rama and Sita falling in love. I think the original tale didn't really emphasize their love and romance, but I guess that wasn't really the point. Still, I liked that you added more to their story. I am a big fan of Sita and her devotion and strength so I love that you featured her.
ReplyDeleteHi, Amber! This comment is to reconnect with you on a comment that you wrote on my Storytelling post in Week 2. I just wanted to say thank you for the feedback you had given me, it was exactly what I was looking for! Even though that story I wrote was over one of those Mother Goose Rhymes, I still feel like it’s the best story I’ve written yet. Anyway, I hope the semester has been treating you well!
ReplyDeleteHello Amber!
ReplyDeleteI am commenting on your storybook again for the extra credit assignment. This week, I read "Kiera: Rama and Sita's Story." You made the squirrel narrate the story which was fun.
I noticed a couple possible errors. I'm not sure if these truly are errors, I could be wrong but I think in the first paragraph, the sentence "who I was very fond of and who I chose to follow.." needs to be corrected to "Whom I was very fond of and whom I chose to follow.."
Other than that, the overall flow of the story was good but I am not too fond of the fonts you have selected. I felt as if my reading was being interrupted by the fonts because I had to stop to figure out what some of the words were. Other than that, great job!
I’m back! Glad to visit again.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I still love your squirrely theme. I think you keep Arianna’s personality pretty consistent throughout both of your stories! She seems to get a bit distracted, but will get back on track (I hope that is what you are going for).
I really liked Kiera’s story. The way Arianna illustrates Rama and Sita’s beginning is incredibly simple. There isn’t a too much detail that creates imagery, but somehow you really created a picture in my mind as I was reading.
One suggestion I have is to include a very short reminder of the girl’s background story. One sentence would probably do the job. I liked that you reminded us of the theme for each story (“Next we’ll move on to Kiera’s lesson – waiting for true love- as….”), but maybe reminding us why Kiera is being impatient. I think it would help tie back to your introduction and make more connection throughout your storybook.
Hey Amber,
ReplyDeleteI think that the theme of your storybook is really interesting. I think that counseling is a really interesting idea and I think that a lot great ideas could come from this storybook. If someone is getting counseled they are really expressing their feelings and the counselor is really getting to dive deep into their lives and their entire world. One thing I have to add though that the font in your storybook is a little hard to read. However, I do the cursive in the actual storybook. I also liked how you introduced everyone in the beginning because I think that gives everyone a sense of belonging to something. When the girls are introducing themselves I think it sets up for them to be more comfortable when they are expressing themselves during the counseling sessions. Overall, I am really excited to read more of your stories and really figure out the sessions are all about.
Hey Amber!
ReplyDeleteI really like the theme for your storybook! I found it to be really interesting because I haven't seen very many people do a counseling type storybook! I really like the idea for your storybook because this storybook is a great way to relate people's feelings to the themes from the stories we have read. I really like that you kept the same person from your first storybook!
I thought you did a great job with the first story! It was great because you told it from a different perspective then what we read in the Ramayana. I thought you made a great point that history is told through the victors eyes. There are always two sides to every story, and you did a great job making that point in your first story! Also I liked that you made the point that it is always best to follow your own instincts and not be a follower! Great job! I am looking forward to reading more of your stories!