Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Week 1 Storytelling: Jack and Jill





Once upon a time there was a little boy named Jack who had a little sister named Jill. You may have heard of them before but I bet you never heard this version of the story. Jack and Jill lived in a little cabin in the woods with their parents (as little boys and girls tend to do) and had to go to the well every day (sometimes more than once a day) to gather water for their mother as part of their daily chores. On this particular day, it was rather drizzly and dreary and Jack and Jill really did not want to go to fetch the water, but their mother insisted that they bundle up and do their duty so that she could fix the meals and clean the house and other chores that mothers like to do. Later, of course, she very much regretted sending the children to do the chore, as it ended so tragically.

So Jack and Jill got all bundled up nice and warm and each had their own cute little umbrella that they took with them along with their water pails. They started the long trek to the well out of the woods and up the hill from their house and were in quite good spirits all things considered as they had decided to make the best of the situation and have an adventure. They took the long route, to add to the adventure-ness of it all, and took longer than their mother expected. They also played little games along the way, including sword-fighting with their tiny little child-sized umbrellas. The ground was by this time quite slippery and muddy and the sky was still pouring rain. Worried about them, their mother walked to the edge of the woods and looked up the hill to see what was taking so long.

Well, what was taking so long was that Jack and Jill, after their long out-of-the-way journey through the woods had stopped halfway up the hill to have a vigorous sword fight. This irritated their mother, as she was trying to get on with her own chores and needed the pails of water to continue, so she shouted up to them to hurry along. This distracted the children at just the wrong moment, however, and ended horribly. At just the time when her shout distracted them, Jack slipped on a wet rock and might have caught his balance but his other foot slipped in a puddle of mud. At the same time, the two umbrellas somehow became entangled so that when Jack fell, Jill fell too. They both tumbled down the hill and poor Jack’s head was never quite the same again, much to his family’s dismay.


Author’s Note: I used the nursery rhyme Jack and Jill, which if you’re not familiar with it goes like this:

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water;

Jack fell down and broke his crown,

And Jill came tumbling after.

I didn’t like that it had no details, so I made up a reason for everything that happened.


Bibliography: Jack and Jill, The Nursery Rhyme Book, edited by Andrew Lang and illustrated by L. Leslie Brooke (1897).

Image Information: "Jack and Jill" by William Wallace Denslow taken from Wikipedia.

5 comments:

  1. Nice story, Amber. :) I like how you took such a simple nursery rhyme and turned it into this story with great detail! I wonder what this rhyme was trying to tell us as kids. To be more careful while going up hills to fetch pails of water? Haha. Poor Jack! Hopefully his mother has learned to be more patient. Can’t wait to read more of your posts, Amber!

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  2. I really liked this! It became much more realistic for me. In the original there was no reason for why they were up on the hill or why they came falling down. But your story gave a very plausible reason for why this was happening. It is totally true that if you send two little kids out in the rain with little umbrellas, the last thing they are going to do is use them to keep the rain off of themselves. They would definitely use them to play sword-fight. And the irritated mother was good too. That is what would make a child turn their head and slip up and go tumbling down a hill. Good job!

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  3. I enjoyed this little story! I felt like you put in a lot of great descriptive words to help the reader get a vivid image of the background setting (the rainy day). I really enjoyed your word choice because I feel like that is one of the most important aspects of writing anything. If the word choice is off, it can detract from the story a lot! I also liked how you showed Jack and Jill doing childish things such as sword playing which is definitely understandable because kids will be kids! It added in a bit of comic relief just before the tragic accident occurs. I feel like if you would've told the story in first person, maybe in the mother’s point of view, or even in Jack or Jill’s point of view, it could have been more comical and adventurous sounding but you wrote a great story regardless! I look forward to reading more of your stories!

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  4. Amber,

    I really enjoyed reading this story. It was very creative of you to think of a reason why everything happened. I thought that your paragraphs were spaced out very well, and helped to make the story flow even better than it already did. I followed your links on your story and all of them work great, and are very helpful for me to be able to see the original source. My favorite part of the story was when Jack and Jill were sword fighting. This is something you don’t exactly expect for them to do, so it was very interesting. I thought all of your word choice and your method for telling the story was great. I do wonder if Jack and Jill had to go back up the hill to get the water even after their fall. I look forward to reading many more of your stories in the future.

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  5. Amber,

    I loved coming back to week one to read your first storytelling post. Your rendition of Jack and Jill has much more detail, which I thoroughly enjoyed. My favorite part was when they took umbrellas with them and used them to sword fight during their journey. Sounds like something a little kid would definitely do. The poor mom though (after the incident)!

    Great job!

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